tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43423224213086091622012-01-07T13:09:23.203+08:00Ami da Fahmihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16887816275910039427noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342322421308609162.post-17250613050934008302012-01-07T13:09:00.001+08:002012-01-07T13:09:23.213+08:00yesterday i had to withdraw my leave for work and spent the rest of the day out in the field.<br /><br />had a meatty dinner at mad jack jalan kayu in the evening. a 3 patty beef burger. super awesome! and as usual, im no match to complete the challenge. hehe.<br /><br />a walk down at punggol point at night with strong night breeze and clear skies. i wish i would have someone special here with me to enjoy this. but i guess its just me tonight.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4342322421308609162-1725061305093400830?l=mfahmi89.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Ami da Fahmihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16887816275910039427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342322421308609162.post-50140997000298165772012-01-05T21:03:00.000+08:002012-01-05T21:03:16.103+08:00its been 2 months now, and everyone thinks its like nothing had happened. like me and her never happened. its never easy to move on for me, especially when she could have been my future wife. how can you expect when youre married and the wife dies suddenly and you're expected to just pick up and go. its never that simple.<br /><br />a year plus of dating, 2 years of a relationship, it meant something to me, not just a sparkle of love or whatsoever. in those 3 years, she became my best friend, my only friend. and not just a lover. with her, i dont need to share my secrets to anyone else, with her, i dont need to cry to everyone. shes all i ever needed. my problems, my pains, my suffering, she knows it all. and now i lost her.<br /><br />somehow in these 2 months, history is like repeating itself. first i lost my only best friend, then my closest friends turn their backs on me. just because im not a girl which is easy to move on with guys coming on to you cause you're hot and available now, i became the bad guy here. it breaks my heart ten fold and now i dont have anyone i could even shed a tear to. i dont have anyone i could trust. just me, here, in my blog. like the old days.<br /><br />i know i have to change myself, and i want to. but all these losing of the people dearest to me. it demoralises me. and i cant take it.<br /><br />how can you say i dont understand a thing when you yourself dont. i took upon myself to have a great heart. a heart to be faithful towards my love. my family. myself. and now ive been labelled a cheat, a liar, and an ungrateful man.<br /><br />in this world, no one can ever understand whats going through in my mind right now. no one understands how i actually feel. what i have to go through in sickness and in health. for richer or for poor, better or for worse, and yet, they judge me when i dont even judge them.<br /><br />anyways, as i embark for my first activity this weekend. i just hope i can do this. alone i may be, but if i can just find happiness in doing it on my own, then i guess its all i can ever be.<br /><br />my goals shall&nbsp;remain. and i hope my life would be better next year. a&nbsp;happy 2012. a year i still have to suffer before happiness. this is Ami. this is me.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4342322421308609162-5014099700029816577?l=mfahmi89.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Ami da Fahmihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16887816275910039427noreply@blogger.com0